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  • The Emotionally Destructive Marriage

  • How to Find Your Voice and Reclaim Your Hope
  • By: Leslie Vernick
  • Narrated by: Leslie Vernick
  • Length: 6 hrs and 13 mins
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars (11 ratings)

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The Emotionally Destructive Marriage

By: Leslie Vernick
Narrated by: Leslie Vernick
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Publisher's Summary

Something Has to Change….

You can't put it into words, but something is happening to you. Your stomach churns, your heart aches, and the tension in your marriage is making you feel weary and a little crazy. The constant criticism, disrespect, cruelty, deceit, and gross indifference are eroding your confidence and breaking your spirit.

For any woman caught in an emotionally destructive marriage, Leslie Vernick offers a personalized path forward. Based on decades of counseling experience, her intensely practical, biblical advice will show you how to establish boundaries and break free from emotional abuse. Learn to:

  • identify damaging behaviors
  • gain the skills to respond wisely
  • promote healthy change
  • stay safe
  • understand when, why, and even how to leave
  • recognize that God sees and hates what is happening to you

Trying harder to be a perfect fantasy wife won’t help fix what’s wrong your marriage. Discover instead how you can initiate effective changes to stop the cycle of destruction and restore hope for the future.

©2014 Leslie Vernick (P)2014 eChristian

Critic Reviews

"Women in an emotionally abusive marriage do not need another book on how to have a good marriage; those books rub salt in raw wounds. No, they desperately need this book so that they can diagnose just how bad their marriage is and then, with Leslie’s clear expertise, develop a plan that will either begin to turn their marriage around...or give them a wise route of escape." (Dee Brestin, author of Idol Lies and the Friendships of Women)

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  • 08-10-2023

This might just save my marriage

I've listened to this book twice now. The first time I was gutted as I recognised some things that I was doing that were hurting my wife. The second time, I'm using it as a guide to better understand myself and to pursue my own growth and to treat my wife better.

To the people who think this is all just about demonising the man, there are wise words toward the end of the book to women and how they have enabled behaviours and some other good advice related to things the wife has potentially been doing wrong in the relationship.

If you're not involved in a destructive marriage, then this book may seem over the top, but if you are... this book could save your marriage.

There are clear things that the husband must be aware of and do to help rebuild his marriage, without this guidance I feel I would be quite lost in the journey.

You might not consider yourself abusive, but you still might find some good information to help with self reflection anyway.

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Any honouring of husbands in this book?

I'm gritting my teeth listening to this book but for the sake of trying to be a listener I'm enduring.

What's wrong with this book? It's in it's own description. "Trying harder to become a fantasy wife won't fix your marriage." What a scornful statement that pushes responsibility away to the husband.

I'm 2 hours in and haven't heard a single thing about what a woman can actually do to honour and respect her husband and get the best out of him. Hot Tip, Ladies: Men step up to the expectations that are put upon them and they always say in their minds "I believe you and I'm going to prove it" after everything you say to them. What are you saying about them? We're all given a sword, men use the cutting edge to fight and defend, and women use the flat... to knight and commission and give honour. Stop using the sharp edge and use the flat and you'll actually get better husbands and sons.

This book has just been saying all the things that women hate that men do. If you want to talk about what men are doing wrong... aim the book at blokes! Otherwise, if a book is aimed at women, it should be focused on what women can, and should be doing about themselves... not talking about the guys that aren't in the room...but of course "That's just trying harder to be a fantasy wife and it won't work." Yuck. I expect the author would have NO problems about men trying harder to be the fantasy husband? That'd be a good thing, right?

Reader, get a better book. Get Woman After God's Own Heart.

Later edit 4:30 hours in. My gosh! This book doesn't get any better! She should have called this book "How to get divorced." I'm not even kidding. The way she describes men in this book is though they're scum-sucking psychos and the enemy. If the book is targeting women with men that are as psycho as she makes them out to be, she shouldn't be talking about reconciliation at all but how to survive a guaranteed divorce situation.

I'm a God-fearing bloke that puts my wife and marriage as number one who proactively listens to relationship books to keep my spirit fed on ways to keep my marriage healthy and on fire. (How we got here)... but if I heard this woman preaching these ideas to a group of women I'd be terrified to go into the room for fear of being treated with suspicion and even open disdain for being a man at all!

This is such a discouraging book that is completely cavalier in the way it portrays husbands.






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A Great and Informative Book

I gained some inside into other emotionally destructive marriages. Even though I have & had experienced some form of emotionally destructive traits by my husband over our 40 years plus of marriage, it is comforting to know that couples are struggling with this problem all around the world. The help & assistance suggested by Leslie Vernick to those abused women is of help to me. To have bible verses back up Leslie’s thoughts & helpfulness was a great blessing and strength. To also know God is there constantly beside me and knowing the right thing to do in difficult instances is very comforting. This subject of emotionally destructive marriages is so essential to get out to women because sometimes you feel like you’re the only person this is happening to & you must be really bad to upset your spouse. To know it’s not my problem but his is a comfort in itself, but then for a self centred person to see they have faults & they’re not the perfect 10 is a battle in itself. Thank you so much Leslie for your wonderful book! I loved it......

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