It's 22,000 BC. A beautiful, ambitious angel stands on a mountaintop, surveying the world and its little inhabitants below. He smiles because soon, the last of humanity who survived the great flood will meet its end, too. And he should know. He's going to play a big part in it. Our angel usually doesn't get to do fieldwork, and if he does well, he's certain he'll get a big promotion.
And now it's time....
The angel reaches into his pocket for the instrument of humanity's doom. Must be in the other pocket. Then he frantically begins to pat himself down. Dejected, he realizes he has lost the object. Looking over the Earth at all that could have been, the majestic angel utters a single word.
It's 2015. A thief named Coop - a specialist in purloining magic objects - steals and delivers a small box to the mysterious client who engaged his services. Coop doesn't know that his latest job could be the end of him - and the rest of the world. Suddenly he finds himself in the company of The Department of Peculiar Science, a fearsome enforcement agency that polices the odd and strange. The box isn't just a supernatural heirloom with quaint powers, they tell him.
It's a doomsday device. They think....
And suddenly, everyone is out to get it.
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Customer ReviewsMost Helpful
By Nonny Mouse on 09-05-2016
thinks it is funnier than it is
there are very few laugh out loud moments here. the plot contains some food for thought. I cannot for the life of me figure out what the hero and heroine saw in each other. there is quite a bit of extra characters that only seemed looped in to make the climax scenes more complicated. not as good as others in this genre but not terrible.
9 of 10 people found this review helpful
By Mel on 12-05-2016
Everything not for Everyone
Amidst the rave reviews, I'm not sure whether it takes courage or stupidity to publish such an opposing view--but I thought it might help those that venture into genres they wouldn't usually look at when all the reviews are so positive and guarantee you'll "love this book." Cuz I didn't; but I have a friend that hates chocolate and says it taste bitter to her, so I completely understand not liking a sure thing. This type of *absurd fiction* is out of my personal preference zone, though I have enjoyed Christopher Moore, Neil Gaiman, and some Terry Pratchett. Based on great reviews and a summary that sounded promising,, I visualized it as a comic fantasy detective story, clever and innovative due to no restraints other than the author's imagination in such a genre.
Sadly, I thought the book didn't deliver on any level. Kadrey seemed comfortable treading a small unimaginative circle in an immense universe of possibility. I re-read all of the editorial reviews when I finished and wondered if I had read the same book. The humor hit me as flat, scripted, dorky -- anything but hip and creative. *Dumb people* jokes (let's call it naiveté or the *buh*dum*ching jokes) and clichés work okay in movies like Ghost Busters, Beetlejuice, etc., but don't transfer well to the written word, in my experience, and the narrator's delivery lacked a comedian's punch-line timing that would have at least given the allusion of absurd comedy. On the whole, the book reminded me of a Seth Rogen/James Franco movie without the stoner jokes or outrageousness -- that is, unless you count the kid that keeps calling his master "exalted dark high one" instead of "exalted high dark one" ?. In a diverse cast of characters, ranging from little school-girl vamps (yawn) to arch angels and puffer-fish demons, the whole motley crew was surprisingly flat (and not in a good way like Road Kill Man in Beetlejuice).
I've never read any of the author's Sandman Slim novels, but am not compelled to do so after this. I felt like the author had everything at his disposal, but kept what could've been a hugely fun and creative story stuffed into a tiny little boring box. I really disliked this one immensely -- I kept saying that to myself the whole time I listened. Nothing here for me, but I hope I've expressed my personal reasons as to why without offending anyone who did--or might--enjoy this type of read.
47 of 56 people found this review helpful
Customer ReviewsMost Helpful
By Kathryn W. on 13-05-2016
Made me LOL
If you could sum up The Everything Box in three words, what would they be?
Funny, good story
What was one of the most memorable moments of The Everything Box?
All of the parts about the cultists, especially the bake sales :)
Did you have an emotional reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?
Made me laugh.
Any additional comments?
Really enjoyed this. Listened to it at work and had everyone asking me what was so funny.
7 of 8 people found this review helpful