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  • Parsnips, Buttered

  • Bamboozle and Boycott Modern Life, One Email at a Time
  • By: Joe Lycett
  • Narrated by: Joe Lycett
  • Length: 3 hrs and 43 mins
  • 4.7 out of 5 stars (190 ratings)

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Parsnips, Buttered

By: Joe Lycett
Narrated by: Joe Lycett
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Publisher's Summary

In this book I have attempted to solve each and every one of life's problems. And I have succeeded.

Dear Listener,

Using letters, emails, tweets and telegrams I will show you how the things in your life that make you sad, low or anxious can soon appear trivial, insignificant and like a fish. In short, I will butter your parsnips.

Life is hard. We are a bombarded generation: Facebook, billboards, Twitter, Instagram, taxes, newspapers, watches monitoring our sleep, apps that read our pulse, terrorism. There's such an onslaught to the senses these days it's a marvel any of us manage to get out of bed. I love bed.

While we are overwhelmed and confused by the miasmic cloud of information, there are those that seek to take advantage: there are parking fines, hate tweets, Nigerian email scams and Christmas newsletters from old school friends about their ugly kids. And just as we're getting round to doing something about it, we're distracted again.

I, Joe Lycett, comedian, wordsmith, and professional complainer, am here to help. During my short life of doing largely nothing I've discovered solutions to many of life's problems, which I impart to you, dear Listener. Containing a centurion of complaint letters to unsuspecting celebrities, companies and anyone brave enough to clog up my phone, as well as illustrations, one-liners, jokes and life hacks, this little gem offers you a collection of tips and advice* for all manner of modern woe. By the time you have finished listening to this book you will have learnt how to:

  • Reverse a parking fine
  • Manipulate the tabloid press
  • Navigate social media
  • Respond to hate mail
  • Out-weird Internet trolls
  • Contest a so-called ripe avocado
  • Send the perfect Christmas newsletter
  • Defeat ISIS
  • Take down multinational companies

AND MUCH, MUCH MORE!

Joe Lycett x

* If you are looking for guidance with taxes, quitting smoking, moving house, love, divorce, education, health care or anything actually important may I recommend speaking to friends or family members and not consulting a book by a comedian who eats halloumi at least twice a day.

©2016 Joe Lycett (P)2016 Hodder & Stoughton

What listeners say about Parsnips, Buttered

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Disgruntling, Irritating and Messy

This audiobook contained little to no information on butter, parsnips nor buttered parsnips. And the further I invested my dwindling time on this earth into this mildly-amusing read, the more it became apparent that Joe had no intention to do so. Whatsmore, at the conclusion of the audiobook, my device exploded with glitter which has made masturbating quite painful.

I hope you're well. Kind regards. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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5 people found this helpful

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Worst Cookbook Ever

Would you try another book written by Joe Lycett or narrated by Joe Lycett?

I would assume anyone from the Third Reich or an fifth of the Kardashians

Any additional comments?

The majority of these recipes are either unintelligible or missing key ingredients

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3 people found this helpful

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Joe Lycett the guy who all councils should fear !

Greatly appreciated the mindless and numbness unhelpful nature of this book. Full of useful but useless information to tackle various aspects of life and councils. All which take aweful amount of time.Which Joe Lycett seems to have a lot of ,loved the audio.1

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2 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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Hilarious

Laughed the whole way through. Joe is hilarious! Would highly recommend to anyone in need of a good belly laugh

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1 person found this helpful

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Wonderful!

My only complaint is that this book is only 3 hrs and 43 mins.

Loved it!

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sandra salamander strikes again

i'll be suing for making me laugh so hard while I ate a slice of toast that a sunflower seed from atop the crust became lodged in nose, after passing through my mouth and up behind my nasal cavity.
5 stars

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    5 out of 5 stars
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1000% entertained

If you like Joes comedy, you’ll like this book. That cannot be said for all comedians literary endeavours

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Very funny & informative

Parsnips, Buttered by Joe Lycett is the self-help book I did not know I needed x

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  • sue
  • 08-01-2023

Good fun

Thankyou Joe, witty and clever………………. ………..xx..xx..xx..a….x….x…x…xx.xx..zzzzzzz .. xx

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Hilarious

So many laugh out loud moments. Loved it and would highly recommend listening to this one. Joes animated voice just adds to the hilarity

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